Going Back To Work After Baby
There is no crystal ball to tell you before you have a baby how the pregnancy will go, the birth will go, or even how to integrate the baby into your life after things begin to normalize and that fog of new mamahood clears. No one can give you a “how to” guide on this because it is literally different for every single family out there.
What I can do is provide my story and provide you some support through this article because I had an extremely difficult time going back to work after having my first child. And moms, this is totally normal.
I remember it like it was yesterday, August 11th, 2016, it was my final Sunday with my sweet girl Lillian (3 months at the time) before going back to my corporate sales job. I covered a 15 state territory and 5 men were reporting to me in various states. Did I also mention this was a promotion I received one month before giving birth so I was basically getting a brand new job in leadership right before one of the largest life milestones happened to me in my life?? Yeah, no pressure here 😊
My daughter was one of the easiest babies regarding sleep and eating, which are usually a mom’s biggest fears prior to going back. My husband traveled for his job so he was extremely supportive of me and my job, and my company and current boss at the time were extremely supportive. With all of this support, I still felt completely crushed and depressed about going back to work. Why? Because I wanted the best of both worlds. I wanted to be able to be a mom and see my daughter all the time but also wanted to advance in my career and have human interaction and adult conversations again.
….And in comes the mom guilt!! (yes that is real and never quite goes away for all aspects of life, not just work). So, how did I conquer this so called “momguilt” and the need for adult human interaction? ONE DAY AT A TIME. Below are some suggestions I have for any mom going back to work after having a baby that helped me not once, but twice.
1) Have a plan: Work with your current supervisor or manager as well as your partner and have a game plan. This will look different for everyone. For me it was no work travel the first month back. This way I could get situated with the new schedule prior to adding in an additional stress of travel. My husband and I planned out who would take our daughter into daycare and who would pick her up. It was as simple as that, and it helped. Do not worry if you stray from the original plan or need to pivot, this is likely to happen. Having a plan helped me to alleviate stress and quiet down my emotions. This also set the tone and made us more prepared for later when we were both traveling and planning our schedules.
2) Create a Schedule: Getting a morning routine together and a set schedule with your baby is very helpful. I had established a good morning routine with my daughter 2-3 weeks prior to officially going back so it was not a total shock to the system on that first day back to work. She was sleeping through the night at this point because I had her on a strict routine so I got up and showered prior to her waking up, fed her, did my storage pump (this will be a entirely different post regarding nursing and schedule) and was ready to go by 8am. Even though I was not going into an office that day, I dressed like I was and that got me into work mode. We both brought her to daycare the first few days and I cried each day, but it did get easier. I also recommend introducing a bottle a few weeks prior so they are used to it and you have less concerns about them missing feedings!
3) Check In With Yourself: Set a reminder to check in every one to two weeks to see what is working and what is not for you. With the minutia of all the change, sometimes we forget to do that. I also highly recommend ensuring you are taking a break in your day for yourself, and yourself ONLY. Take a 30 minute walk, run, listen to a good playlist, get fresh air, go to Target, go get a coffee, whatever you need to do to take your mind off work, and baby, and be free to think about nothing but where your mind wants to wander. Mental freedom is very important as a mom, especially with all the change. I did this much better with my second baby than I did with my first one so do not put too much pressure on yourself mama. Remember, ONE DAY AT A TIME.
4) Be Kind To Yourself: Please do not forget that you are an incredible human being. Carrying a human for 9 months, then caring for them outside of your belly while trying to also be a human yourself is very difficult. Have grace in your day, do not get mad at yourself for things not going how you planned. This is the beauty (and maybe the beast) of motherhood. We have to learn to pivot at a moments notice and we need to be ok with that change happening.
Like anything, this all got easier with time. My daughter thrived at daycare and we LOVED her teachers there. I started to thrive at work and find a groove there too.
When I tell the story about being so sad in the beginning people often ask me why I didn’t just quit my job. Truth is, the income I was generating was very important for my family. I also was very emotional as a new mom and I wanted to make a calculated decision and not a decision based on emotion. I told myself I would give it 6 full months and if the pro’s outweighed the cons, then I would stay with my job. If they didn’t, I would have to make a change. I am not an analytical person by nature but oddly enough, applying numbers and having a potential end date helped to remove the emotion for me. I ended up staying with it, and I am glad that I did as it was the right move for me, and my family.
I hope that you found this post helpful. Please comment below if you have any thoughts or want to share your story.